Beauty out of Pain :)

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I experienced some of my most painful days during the last week. I got up one morning (Wednesday)and realized while brushing that I had some pain on the right side of my upper jaw. But brushed the idea that the pain would alleviate during the day and headed to office as usual.

Sooner I realized that the pain was increasing, I took some OTC pain killers and thought it subsided. People at my office told me that the pain was due to abnormal wisdom teeth and I soon nodded in agreement with them all. Some of them told me its quite common and the sooner I extract the tooth, the better. The fear of the dental instruments and the anxiety about the tooth removal process worried me more than the pain. The next day I came back to work because I had some deliverable, but the pain became too severe for me to bear. Pain was accompanied by fever and shivering and I was looking funny with a warm jacket roaming to and fro from my bay to the medical room!

I finished my work headed back home, I had survived the entire day with just a slice of bread and a glass of juice. The next morning I met the doctor who told me I do have an abnormal tooth, but the extricating pain was due to infection caused by a bite in my cheeks. Doctor suggested that I was low on immunity and that’s why the infection flared up and wanted me to get my blood test done (Blood picture, Vitamin D, Thyroid and sugar). Temporarily she put me on antibiotics and said it should help, and once my infection is reduced I could get my tooth off. I went back home, tried to get some rest was quite hungry but was unable to even swallow water! The whole day the pain was increasing proportionally! Towards the end of the day, I decide to call back the doctor and tell her that her antibiotics and pain killers dint work. She asked me to get the tests done early the next morning and get back to her.

The next morning I just had the energy to pick up my two wheeler to go and get my tests done. And they said the results will be available only by 4:00 PM. I went to the clinic by 5 and the doctors husband reviewed my reports and my teeth and said I was very low on Vitamin D. The doctor said that unhealthy eating habits, no body exercise and stress are the factors leading to low Vitamin D and of course lack of exposure to Sunlight! Ahh he caught me rightly!!

He made a decision to remove my teeth, though my reports were not ok because if the teeth continues to hit the infection every time I close my mouth the wound would never heal. Already I was starving three days and I was loosing my strength!! He asked me to come the next morning  which meant another painful night!

Saturday morning, I went in at 9:40 AM and by 9:50 my tooth was out (That was extremely quick!!)! I was back home, and he asked me to go to a general physician for taking vitamin D supplements immediately to ensure healing of the infection. By Sunday evening I was back to being normal, the pain had vanished and I was feeling stronger.

To have experienced bitter pain and to get well is such a fresh experience. But during all of this God also thought me another lesson for life and that’s the beauty amidst all the pain!

On Wednesday and Thursday I kept questioning God why should I suffer so much, this is too much for me to bear. I can’t bear this pain, its better to die.. blah blah… I was really feeling sad and hormonal! And everyone would agree with me if I said all of us have a million Why’s in our life and we question God time and again WHY ME??!

God could have saved me from all this pain., when he can number my hair, can’t he hold my teeth from not biting my chin??? He could have, its not very hard at all. The whole point is that, the tooth pain was just an indication. The actual problem was that the infection flared up because there was something primarily wrong with my body! That’s what the tests proved, my vitamins were depleting, my immunity was declining! Infact, for the last three four months, Ive not been able to get up and cook. I would always feel lazy, tired and exhausted.. I blamed my office timings, my situations BUT the problem was I was not exercising, I was not eating the right food and I was always worrying about things I had no control on and I said I was always STRESSED! The problem was in ME!! This was an eye opener!! This is a paradigm change!!

Coming to spiritual lives??? Its the same, I don’t get answers to my prayers. I don’t understand why God isn’t listening to my cry’s about this chaotic life.!! The answer again is – I have some sin in me, that’s absolutely dirty, that’s ruining my spiritual health. He kind of showed me all my sins of Idolatry, Pride, Selfishness, Rebellion, Disobedience, Bitterness and Anger and many more….!! I was shocked, like the doctor he caught me right too!!

I was ashamed of all my sin and yes the pain and the suffering is because I haven’t done my spiritual exercises well, I’ve starved and not had my spiritual food for a long time and the stress was because I kept letting my dirty self show up itself time and again and hinder the work of the Holy Spirit.

And most of our pain is the same, if we have suffering in our lives we need to thank God first!! Because it’s a sign that something is wrong, ask him to help us see our sins, get onto our knees pleading for forgiveness. Only through repentance and brokenness can we reconcile with God, because sin separates us from God. We can get to a beautiful place where we seek ONLY CHRIST when we put everything else below Jesus, all of our plans, our dreams, our desires our ambitions, our relationships. Thats the place where Jesus can work through us and his will be fulfilled in our lives!!! That’s truly the most beautiful place to be in!!

I want to be in a place where its ONLY JESUS. I want JESUS I need JESUS and I will live for JESUS alone!!

John 6:35 -“I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

If I have JESUS I will not be hungry for anything, I will not thirst for anything!! There is Peace!!

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4 thoughts on “Beauty out of Pain :)

Add yours

  1. Another diamond 🙂 So true !! U r really a blessing for others !! U indeed r a blessed soul because you are able to introspect urself n also come out with the most reliable n most successful answers(at this very young age)… shud i envy u now :P… All ur writings r outstanding.. one work competes d other n God bless u !!!

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