As I looked out of my balcony two days ago, it smelled of rain, dark clouds loomed as far as my eyes could see. I started praying, God of heaven and earth, you are the reason for all good things and I pray that you would flood my area with rain and we would have a heavy downpour. I prayed with faith, I said I know oh Lord, when we pray with faith we can move mountains, can you not hear my prayer for rain.
And by the end of the night I was quite disappointed, that my prayer was unanswered and my mind which connects everything quickly found another unanswered prayer just a few days ago.
Last week, we had installed our brand new AC to beat the heat, the guy who fixed the AC had used the electric point which was on the inverter and at night for some reason probably heavy load on the inverter caused complete disruption of power supply.. We were so busy with our younger daughter’s first birthday celebrations that we couldn’t fix the electric issue and we were in the dark for two days. We tried reaching so many electricians but none of them came over to help. Since the night we lost power I had been praying REALLY HARD and I believe even my husband was praying for a MIRACLE. The response was SILENCE and DARKNESS. And the darkness created many other issues on the final day of Hannah’s birthday after all the planning, everything seemed to fall apart.
My faith crumbled under the weight of quite a few unanswered prayers and a sour discouragement went through me
The jazz and the sound of the party soon faded away, like calm after the storm I lay on the bed with just one question still lingering – Why God doesn’t answer all prayers?
My prayer for light wasn’t illegitimate?
My prayer that I would have some creative “thank you” gifts for the birthday party wasn’t selfish?
My prayer that I should look good for the party dressed in the theme color wasn’t too much?
My prayer for rain was not bad?
No answer yet…
Lord are you there???
I searched for answers.. Not finding one.. I was left with two choices
- Don’t question God, just simply trust in his Sovereignty
- Question God and stop trusting until he answers
I am someone who always goes with answers like – Both 1 and 2 or All the above being the “uncertain me”..
Well, two days ago while I was leaving home for the Vacation Bible Study I realized I had forgotten my entire KIT at church which had all the essentials for the class I am teaching. And then though my faith was poor, I prayed – “God please help me find the kit”. I reached church and then attended the teachers devotion and as I walked down I was reminded about my lost kit and very casually I told one of my cousin that I had lost my kit. And very very surprisingly, one girl who just passed me stopped and looked into my face and asked me “Is it the green file”
Yeah it is, I said.
She said “I found it yesterday and kept it on the table.”
I went in hurriedly and looked at some tables in the church, I couldn’t find.
I found this girl, right behind me. She pointed to a book rack placed a few feet above my head which was beyond visibility.
I thanked her and walked into the church to attend the service.
Did I find the kit because I prayed and God answered my prayer?? Well no no.. Its just a kit… my discouraged soul wasnt yet ready for small miracles…
But later my heart, mind and soul gathered to reason out..!
The probability of missing the kit in a place where 200 kids have gathered is very high..
The probability of someone taking responsibility of a deserted teachers kit is extremely low;
The probability of me finding the file, on my own in a huge church with multiple pews, multiple tables and in the place it was kept is NULL!
The probability that the same person who kept the kit safely bumping into me at the same time, in a gathering of 300 people and overhearing me talk about the kit and she relating it to the kit is something I CANNOT COMPREHEND!
Wohoooo.. Something like an electricity passed through my body… My blind eyes could see the goodness of God, a supreme, all knowing, all powerful, yet Good beyond our understanding. His ways and thoughts are way beyond ours and we cannot fathom
“For prayer is request. The essence of request, as distinct from compulsion, is that it may or may not be granted.”
God doesn’t grant our prayers, though it may seem good to us when all it would do is destroy us.
How did I conclude this –
I said we both prayed hard that power be restored and we would sleep peacefully and not face the consequences of a dark home, especially when we have a big birthday celebration. And we prayed we would find SOME electrician. After two days of darkness and the busyness, my dad was reminded of some good electrician and gave him a call. He came along with two of his attendants. And he inspected our house and the problem and then he said, the entire wiring of the house is done improperly. The electricity has to be split in three phases so that the load on the inverter is minimal, however the previous electrician who had installed it had wired all of them together and we were facing tripping of electricity quite often, but we never much bothered due to our busy schedules.
But the issue was so huge, the electrician said that we were just too lucky because, our AC could have been destroyed if there were power cuts that night when our total electricity got disrupted :o. The work had taken more than half a day, rewiring the entire house.
Had God answered our prayers for power that night we would have destroyed our AC, quite an expensive one!
Had God answered the prayer of finding SOME electrician, he would have done some quick fixes but the major problems would have remained, we needed a good, skilled electrician and we needed close to half a day time, which we couldn’t have afforded that day!
While, in all the mess my faith crumbled, many situations like this in the past have thought me to trust God at all times, though many times I do get discouraged.
Prayer is important, it taps into the divine when we don’t have solutions ourselves. Prayers aren’t answered when what we ask is silly (though we may view it as important).
Pray without ceasing;
Be thankful at all times!
Trust in God’s goodness;
Accept the sovereignty of God!
It isn’t easy when prayers aren’t answered, but when we TRUST God, when we believe all he does is good for those who believe in him, He always proves FAITHFUL!